Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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