Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
