so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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