I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
