kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry about my life...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
