You're so nebulous sometimes
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
