Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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