Who wears a wallet chain?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize