in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize