its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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