im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize