Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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