Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize