I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
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we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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