I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize