Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
