How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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