No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize