I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she smelled like a LAN party
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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