She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
