you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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