If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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