I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
