it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
