I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
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i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes