My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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