no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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