it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize