I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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