True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
