you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
