Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Randomize
