Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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