It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Randomize
