I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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