I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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