ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
