you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
