At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
