Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
