Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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