um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
