Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
