i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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