so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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