watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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