if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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