North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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