so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
