if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
