Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
