they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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