so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you had me at cake vodka
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
