I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Found the puke drawer
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You left your phone here
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