You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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