my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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